


His Hair, His Smoke, His Dreams

by sam_boiii



Series: The Colors Series [2]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brendon is kind of an asshole, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I really like the word aubergine, M/M, No Smut, Post-Split, Ryden, but so is Ryan so it's okay, unless you count making out as smut, when you touch your soulmate you see color
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 16:10:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8898778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sam_boiii/pseuds/sam_boiii
Summary: Part 2 of The Colors Series. Ryan and Brendon agree to meet.Title again from Colors by Halsey





	

It has been 3 months.

It has been 3 months, 7 days, six hours, and 49 minutes since Ryan Ross sent the most important package of his life. 

It couldn’t get anymore cliche.

\------

They agreed to meet in a coffee shop.

Or outside it, whatever happens first. 

\-----

To say he was anxious was an understatement. He wondered if it counted as cheating if your wife knew, and approved, of you going and meeting your first love.

He ordered a small coffee, chose a table by a window, and began to wait.

\-----

When Ryan Ross said he didn’t trust alarm clocks, he really meant it. He couldn’t count all the meetings and flights he had missed because of the faulty technology, and now he was missing the most important meeting of his life.

Drinking to quell his anxiety never worked out for him, and especially not last night. 

He pulled on his too tight skinny jeans, and tried not to wake up the stranger next to him. 

Ryan left the stranger’s apartment, hating himself a little more with every passing second. 

\-----

It had been an hour. 

He had been sitting here for an hour, and the people around him were starting to look at him with pity. The how’s-it-going texts from Sarah really weren't helping either. 

He was going to give him another 10 minutes. 

\-----

With no exaggeration, Ryan burst through the door like a tornado, smelling like cheap booze and regrets. 

And although he hadn't seen this boy in years, and he currently looked like something you get stuck to the bottom of your shoe, Brendon was breathless. More than breathless, he felt like he needed cpr after seeing this man. 

“Hi” 

“Glad to see you could finally grace me with your presence.”

“You agreed to meet me, I'm sorry I was late. I'm surprised you showed up at all.” 

“It's one thing to be late, it's another thing to be late and show up smelling like another guy.” 

“I'm reall-”

“I waited for you for an hour. I made a fool out of myself, I lied to my wife.” Okay, that last part was a total lie, but Brendon wanted Ryan to hurt, wanted him to feel like a complete asshole. 

“Goodbye Ryan.”

“Wait! Brendon no!” He said as Brendon walked out of the cafe, Ryan trailing only a few feet behind. 

“Please listen to me, I can explain everything!” 

“I really didn't mean for this to happen, I swear!” Ryan continued saying random things to the boy, with hope that he would eventually listen.

“You know, you're still the same heartless bastard you were back in 2009!” Brendon stopped walking, and turned around to face the leather jacket wearing son of a bitch in front of him.

“I want to punch you in the stupid fucking nose of yours.”

“Really? Tell me more.” Ryan replied, as both took a step closer to each other. 

“I want to rip that ridiculous earring right out of your ear.”

“Go on, we’re just getting to the good part.” 

“I want to pull every strand of the stupid hair cut right out of your head.” They were nose to nose by now, animosity pouring off the two boys. 

“Don't you wish you could.” Ryan purred, as he trailed a finger down Brendon’s jaw. Brendon put his hand on Ryan’s chest, meaning to shove him, but Ryan grabbed his hand before he could do anything. Brendon was suddenly painfully aware of the slate color of the sky, and the twinkling multicolored Christmas lights wrapped around the trees. 

“What are you, some sort of masochist.”

“I can be anything you want me to be.”

“Is that what you say to all of your hookups.”

“Wouldn't you like to know?”

Brendon turned around and walked away, pulling his coat closer to him in the chilly winter air. 

Ryan was left standing there with nothing but a slip of paper with an address and time on it, and a key card. 

\-----

He knocked, not expecting to be dragged into the room so hastily. 

Lips were smashed together, jackets were shed, and shirts were about to be ripped in half. 

“I almost miss the button ups you used to wear, just so I could pop all the fucking buttons off.”

“Oh yea?” 

“Yea, just so everyone would know what kind of walk of shame you're on.”

“Admit it Urie, you're just as much a whore as I am.”

“Am not.”

“Says the man trying to jump my bones after seeing me for 5 minutes.”

“I'm not a whore!”

“Really? Prove it.”

“We set this up! Months ago! We knew this would happen!”

“You’re married!” He said, pointing an accusatory finger at the younger man’s wedding ring.

“No I’m not!”

“You’re a fucking slut, you know that right?!”

“Sarah and I are getting a divorce!”

The room went deathly still, almost like breathing could shatter the gentleness of this moment. 

“Why?”

“Thank god you're pretty Ross.”

“You didn't answer my question.”

“Why the fuck do you think? Because I'm in love with you, you idiot!” 

“But, the colors, you said you didn't see them with me.”

“I lied. I lied, okay, are you happy now.”

“Why would you do that to me, I thought you fucking loved me!” Brendon sat in contemplation for a minute, trying to phrase his next words very carefully. 

“I didn't know you could see them too.” 

“That's a terrible reason.”

“When I was younger my parents warned me about people. People who would lie to you about being able to see the colors, just so they could get something from you. So no Ryan, I didn't think you could see them.”

"You thought I would lie to you about something as important as this? You ended up being what your parents warned you about."

"If it's any consolation, I haven't been to live with myself since you sent the paintings."

“You broke my goddamn heart, Urie.”

“I'm sorry.” Ryan's walks and sits on the edge of the bed, hands clasped over his knees. 

“We really are terrible people, aren't we.”

“Nah, we just don't know how to talk about our emotions.” He replied, sitting next to the broken down man. 

“You said you can see color with her.”

“Yea I can, but it's very faint, nothing like what it's like with you.”

“Was it always like that?”

“At first, the world was still black and white, but after a few years a little bit of color came back.” 

“What does this mean for us?” Ryan asked, laying his head on Brendon's shoulder.

“It means whatever you want it to mean.” He said, tangling their fingers together. 

“I think I want it to mean forever.” 

“I think I do to.”

And that was better than any I love you the pair had ever heard.

\-----

As they loaded the last box into the truck, Brendon looked back at her. He walked to the front porch of the house and looked the sad girl in the eyes.

“Are you going to be okay?”

She scoffed. 

“Please Brendon, I’ve lived without you before.” She said with a teasing tone.

“Thank you.” He whispered, giving Sarah back his ring. 

He pulled her in for a final hug, and didn’t know how to feel when he saw that the world continued to stay in black and white. 

He got into the passenger seat of the moving truck, and looked at the most beautiful boy he had ever laid eyes on.

“Are you ready?”

He nodded, taking one last look at the life he was leaving behind, before slipping his hand into Ryan’s and driving off into an aubergine and tangerine sunset.

**Author's Note:**

> So Ryan got his answer after all the research he did.
> 
> If you can't tell, I really like the word aubergine, mainly because it's fun to say, but also because eggplant is delicious.
> 
> I gave them a happy ending because they didn't get to have one irl.
> 
> Originally I had written a whole spoken word piece from Ryan's perspective, but I decided against posting that because I wanted to go more in depth with how both of these people feel. The spoken word piece also had a different ending, and I decided on something a little more melancholy. It also left more up to the imagination on what happens after the meeting, and y'all wanted a happily ever after (I wanted one too).
> 
>  
> 
> [ Link to my tumblr incase you want to yell at me about this emotional torture ;)](http://ezrxmxller.tumblr.com/)


End file.
